Among us and what we're doing with it all

Among the midst of this thing called life, is a consistency. A consistency that can be very thin, almost transparent or sometimes thick as fog and chaotic trying to see anything! With this consistency, we either create it ourselves, surround ourselves with it, or simply misread it.

For me,I fall into all 3 of these categories depending on what part of life I am living at the present time. For example, on a day to day basis with my current circumstances, I land in the first and third.

However, when I have more control over how my daily routine will unfold, I will most likely fall into the first THROUGH the third. But notice something. With both scenarios, I am usually creating and misreading. :)

Yes, it is sadly part of my character to often misread my situations' details or style of life; which in turn tends to make me less grateful. Or in some rare cases it can cause me to dress something up to be more than it really is. For example a new car I might think I want or thinking I need to always be spending money to be happy. What foolish thinking!

I am not sure what brought on these random thoughts. Maybe it's because I am very observant and I am always looking for ways to improve life. I've been reading Doctrine and Covenants as well as the book of Mosiah lately. I feel my spirit change as I read; I feel it reach out and understand new things. I feel it changing in how it is strengthened by the words I read and how it recognizes the truthfulness of the words. It makes me want so much to change myself and what surrounds me, as well as what surrounds or affects my family.

Where do our true cares and concerns lie? How much of our daily energy are we putting forth toward our children, their activities, theirs and ours personal growth, developing and maintaining talents, and our homes in building up the reason we are here? I ask myself these questions and I am often taken back by the changes that have taken place since we moved out of our own place in March of this year. How much more T.V. Addison watches!! How sad it is and hard for me to accept, that she thinks every time daddy gets home from work with the car that it's time to go bye bye to Walmart to play with toys we can't buy, just to pass time.

What happened to the times we loved staying home together to play in the middle of the floor with shapes and books dancing to/ singing with music? Or enjoying being out on the lawn on a blanket with homemade cookies that we BOTH made. How about those times we went on walks in the stroller outside and not just in the mall! Or even our health habits. I have a lot to reshape once we move out and even a ton to continually work on as the current days pass. Wow has time flown by~ almost two years since she was born.

Of course I have to give myself some credit for the times we spend outside visiting the horses, cows, and swinging or coloring with sidewalk chalk. Also for the times we color and draw together inside and times I let her stand on a chair and watch me cook dinner. How precious our time is; yet it always seems so rushed. I can only hope I have shown her more love and adoration than impatience and anger...can only hope that I have taken more time to teach and enjoy her than to satisfy my own desires.

What a blessing this life is as a whole, but even more so...what a blessing each day is that we are given, that we are able to do with it what we will, given to us so we have the chance to put our life together as a masterpiece-one piece at a time! If we aren't satisfied in the end, it will be our own fault.

~LOVE ONLY GROWS IF WE STOP TO SHARE IT AND FEEL IT.
*HAPPINESS ONLY BECOMES JOY IF WE MAKE IT SO.

Memories unerased

Day after Day

Well, I am going to keep this short, because it seems as though there is always something to say until you sit down after a long day and try to put it into words. lol. I took a couple pictures with our digital camera just to show how big Addison has gotten. All the videos and pictures on my phone didn't work to put on the computer because the computer doesn't have a slot for a memory card that small, even with the attachment. So, I will have to figure out another way of doing it or get a more up to date computer! haha. So, for now, the three pics posted is all ya'll get.

I am amazed day after day at how smart she is and what she is learning. She is a very polite, gentle, and loving little girl. She brings so much joy into our lives and I am excited to see how she will react to her baby sister. I am due in about 5 weeks, and I CANNOT wait!! This girl is outrageous with how much room she thinks she needs to move around! haha.... Addy didn't poke out and hurt so much! I was trying to get out bed yesterday morning and I had the most excruiating pain, I thought for sure I had done something serious. So, for a minute I just laid there waiting for my water to break or contractions to start, just tried to get my breathing normal again. lol. It is strange to me how we can feel the burning and ache of our skin ripping to make room... I told Adam the other day.. hey look honey I got two new nice pink beauty marks on my tummy. hahaha.. Girls-it shows the beauty of sacrifice! They are so worth it and we know it!

Finally SOME answers and getting started!

The road of life winds and twists until eventually, one day, EERCH- you come to a stop whether it's for a known reason or not... you STOP. All the while you were wondering where your next turn might take you, where the answers to the symbols on the road signs you were passing might mean, and even if those symbols never made sense, even when you stop, at least you made it somewhere! :D

Adam and I came to say one day.. no matter what happened the next week, we had to start getting SOME kind of income coming in after three weeks of trying to make some place/job offer work. We were blessed to find that the hospital here in Nephi needed someone pretty bad and were willing to do what was necessary in their ability to get Adam onboard. We were blessed with a decent sign on bonus and good starting pay for a two year committment. We are still awaiting the results of health insurance for my high risk condition and regular plans for the rest of our family. We are finding it to be quite expensive going through private plans, but that was a hit we had to take when Adam took this job.

Most recently, the sign on has blessed us in a ton of ways financially to get caught up and back on our feet for the most part. We haven't been able to find a place to live yet after looking through everything that was posted as available online and on signs through different towns, so right now we are still living at Adam's parents' house. What a blessing that is, and with the goals we have set, we will have one of Adam's school loans and part of another paid off in the next couple months. The spirit of being in their home blesses Addison's life, and she absolutely loves playing with her cousins.

She is getting to be quite the big-little girl haha... the other day, see... she likes to hang out in the bathroom with momma when I get ready for the day, and I usually just watch her out of the corner of my eye in case she gets in the garbage can or touches the toliet brush.. stuff like that, well... she must really pay attention to momma sometimes, because there she was, she had gotten a hold of my mascara SOMEHOW and was putting it on just how I put it on really.. except without a mirror!! She was a little startled when I objected suddenly and when she jabbed her eye. lol. No harm was done! Man without being able to use soap to remove it, bc heaven knows that would have gotten in her eyes too, it was a doozy using just warm water. But she was very patient as I cleaned her pretty little face up. ;) The sweet little LOVE!! My little companion, what a doll!

I am going to see if I can get Adam to help me find the attachment for our phone memory cards and put some pictures on the next time I post. Take Care and LOVE YOUR CHILDREN!! :D

Yet Again~Still Waiting*

Here we are five days from the last time I posted an entry and already plans have changed. We are still waiting for a job... We took the trip to Price to find a place to live after taking the job extended to us, only to find out that there was absolutely NO WHERE to live. I thought to myself.. well no wonder it's so hard to fill the position out here!! It was the most unsuitable range of living arrangements I have ever seen in my life.

You know, you hear returned missionaries' stories of how people in foreign countries have to live, and even though it's nothing I have had to see yet in my life, if there was any comparison... the housing in Price would have to be compared to the neighborhoods you see on crime homocide cop shows. I felt so unsafe and couldn't begin to imagine putting myself, let alone my children, in such a position. So in short, we had to turn the job down.

Adam has another interview tomorrow in SLC that we are both very anxious for. It offers full benefits and if the pay is anything like what they offered for the position in Orem, then it will be better pay than the other three offers Adam has been extended. Every offer so far has gotten better but have had its disadvantages as well, so we are just hoping for the most crucial parts to work themselves out.. the pay, the location, and benefits. Other bonuses are always a plus and have been extended with some offers but not with others. We are holding our breath unfortunately for this chance, so hopefully all goes well! Wish us luck!

WELCOME HOME!

Pheeww~ well, here I am getting ready to give an update of our crazy life, yet I don't know where to even begin. Funny that us women always seem to find everything so important and that there is always a need to hurry and get things done, but the men in our lives just wait and say oh honey it will all work out, just relax. RELAX!? lol. Riight. Although, I must admit that it would certainly do me some good!

We have been in Utah for just over a week now and already a lot has happened. Within my first 4 days or so I received news from my doctor up in Idaho that there were unsatisfactory results of the baby's ultrasound. As if that doesn't worry a mother! They noticed a black density spot in the baby's stomach. So I was scheduled for another ultrasound which I went to yesterday. Now if we remember in my last post, I mentioned that also while in Idaho, they moved up my due date by 2 weeks.Well, after yesterday's doctors appt, we rest assured that was nothing wrong with the baby, that it was a mistake of the ultrasound equipment in Idaho, AND my due date is back to its original date of Oct 22-25th. ugh. So good and bad news there! :D

Beginning about 3 days ago Adam has been yo-yoing a job offer in Price Utah that offers a better sign on bonus, and matches the same great medical benefits, along with a 2 dollar higher wage than what he was offered. With that, he finally got the full swing of things lined out with the recruiters and everyone and accepted the job. He is supposed to start on Monday, but we don't have a place to live yet and don't know a thing about the housing in the area where we are moving to~ Eeek.. I only pray we will be safe and find peace and happiness there!

This pregnancy has been an exhausting one with chasing Addy around and then all the emotional stress and journies we have been through thus far. I am hoping I will be able to start relieving some of that stress and get prepared for the baby's arrival. I will update again in the next couple weeks when we can share how the new job and living arrangements are working out! Wish us luck and send us on our way eh? Later~!

**BaBy gIrL**

Well kiddos,
All of you who have waiting as anxiously as we have, we had our ultrasound today! It's another little girl! I am really going to have to think hard for a name. I had tossed all the girl names aside because this pregnancy has been total opposite of Addy. The baby is calm all the time, rarely moves, has a much slower heart rate, reacts to good food and exercise v.s. Addy went nuts over chocolate haha. I am carrying the baby all out front and none on the sides. So when they announced and showed proof that it was another girl I squealed with excitement haha. I think Addy will do better with a little sister than a little brother, but I was excited to hear it was a boy if it would have gone that way!

They moved up the due date by two weeks. They baby is showing growth of being due around October 13th or 15th instead of the 25th. I am excited to see her and hold her. I hope she looks more like me, because Adam got most the credit for Addison's beauty. hehe. How fun! I thought I would let everyone know since we have had to wait longer this time around! Ooo I just wonder what personality she will have. My guess is Adam's since she is much calmer than Addy. :D If I get the chance and ability to post pics of the ultrasound pics before she gets here, I will do that! Be watching for new pics regardless within the next 2-3 months! Until next time-

Me**