Among us and what we're doing with it all

Among the midst of this thing called life, is a consistency. A consistency that can be very thin, almost transparent or sometimes thick as fog and chaotic trying to see anything! With this consistency, we either create it ourselves, surround ourselves with it, or simply misread it.

For me,I fall into all 3 of these categories depending on what part of life I am living at the present time. For example, on a day to day basis with my current circumstances, I land in the first and third.

However, when I have more control over how my daily routine will unfold, I will most likely fall into the first THROUGH the third. But notice something. With both scenarios, I am usually creating and misreading. :)

Yes, it is sadly part of my character to often misread my situations' details or style of life; which in turn tends to make me less grateful. Or in some rare cases it can cause me to dress something up to be more than it really is. For example a new car I might think I want or thinking I need to always be spending money to be happy. What foolish thinking!

I am not sure what brought on these random thoughts. Maybe it's because I am very observant and I am always looking for ways to improve life. I've been reading Doctrine and Covenants as well as the book of Mosiah lately. I feel my spirit change as I read; I feel it reach out and understand new things. I feel it changing in how it is strengthened by the words I read and how it recognizes the truthfulness of the words. It makes me want so much to change myself and what surrounds me, as well as what surrounds or affects my family.

Where do our true cares and concerns lie? How much of our daily energy are we putting forth toward our children, their activities, theirs and ours personal growth, developing and maintaining talents, and our homes in building up the reason we are here? I ask myself these questions and I am often taken back by the changes that have taken place since we moved out of our own place in March of this year. How much more T.V. Addison watches!! How sad it is and hard for me to accept, that she thinks every time daddy gets home from work with the car that it's time to go bye bye to Walmart to play with toys we can't buy, just to pass time.

What happened to the times we loved staying home together to play in the middle of the floor with shapes and books dancing to/ singing with music? Or enjoying being out on the lawn on a blanket with homemade cookies that we BOTH made. How about those times we went on walks in the stroller outside and not just in the mall! Or even our health habits. I have a lot to reshape once we move out and even a ton to continually work on as the current days pass. Wow has time flown by~ almost two years since she was born.

Of course I have to give myself some credit for the times we spend outside visiting the horses, cows, and swinging or coloring with sidewalk chalk. Also for the times we color and draw together inside and times I let her stand on a chair and watch me cook dinner. How precious our time is; yet it always seems so rushed. I can only hope I have shown her more love and adoration than impatience and anger...can only hope that I have taken more time to teach and enjoy her than to satisfy my own desires.

What a blessing this life is as a whole, but even more so...what a blessing each day is that we are given, that we are able to do with it what we will, given to us so we have the chance to put our life together as a masterpiece-one piece at a time! If we aren't satisfied in the end, it will be our own fault.

~LOVE ONLY GROWS IF WE STOP TO SHARE IT AND FEEL IT.
*HAPPINESS ONLY BECOMES JOY IF WE MAKE IT SO.

Memories unerased

Day after Day

Well, I am going to keep this short, because it seems as though there is always something to say until you sit down after a long day and try to put it into words. lol. I took a couple pictures with our digital camera just to show how big Addison has gotten. All the videos and pictures on my phone didn't work to put on the computer because the computer doesn't have a slot for a memory card that small, even with the attachment. So, I will have to figure out another way of doing it or get a more up to date computer! haha. So, for now, the three pics posted is all ya'll get.

I am amazed day after day at how smart she is and what she is learning. She is a very polite, gentle, and loving little girl. She brings so much joy into our lives and I am excited to see how she will react to her baby sister. I am due in about 5 weeks, and I CANNOT wait!! This girl is outrageous with how much room she thinks she needs to move around! haha.... Addy didn't poke out and hurt so much! I was trying to get out bed yesterday morning and I had the most excruiating pain, I thought for sure I had done something serious. So, for a minute I just laid there waiting for my water to break or contractions to start, just tried to get my breathing normal again. lol. It is strange to me how we can feel the burning and ache of our skin ripping to make room... I told Adam the other day.. hey look honey I got two new nice pink beauty marks on my tummy. hahaha.. Girls-it shows the beauty of sacrifice! They are so worth it and we know it!

Finally SOME answers and getting started!

The road of life winds and twists until eventually, one day, EERCH- you come to a stop whether it's for a known reason or not... you STOP. All the while you were wondering where your next turn might take you, where the answers to the symbols on the road signs you were passing might mean, and even if those symbols never made sense, even when you stop, at least you made it somewhere! :D

Adam and I came to say one day.. no matter what happened the next week, we had to start getting SOME kind of income coming in after three weeks of trying to make some place/job offer work. We were blessed to find that the hospital here in Nephi needed someone pretty bad and were willing to do what was necessary in their ability to get Adam onboard. We were blessed with a decent sign on bonus and good starting pay for a two year committment. We are still awaiting the results of health insurance for my high risk condition and regular plans for the rest of our family. We are finding it to be quite expensive going through private plans, but that was a hit we had to take when Adam took this job.

Most recently, the sign on has blessed us in a ton of ways financially to get caught up and back on our feet for the most part. We haven't been able to find a place to live yet after looking through everything that was posted as available online and on signs through different towns, so right now we are still living at Adam's parents' house. What a blessing that is, and with the goals we have set, we will have one of Adam's school loans and part of another paid off in the next couple months. The spirit of being in their home blesses Addison's life, and she absolutely loves playing with her cousins.

She is getting to be quite the big-little girl haha... the other day, see... she likes to hang out in the bathroom with momma when I get ready for the day, and I usually just watch her out of the corner of my eye in case she gets in the garbage can or touches the toliet brush.. stuff like that, well... she must really pay attention to momma sometimes, because there she was, she had gotten a hold of my mascara SOMEHOW and was putting it on just how I put it on really.. except without a mirror!! She was a little startled when I objected suddenly and when she jabbed her eye. lol. No harm was done! Man without being able to use soap to remove it, bc heaven knows that would have gotten in her eyes too, it was a doozy using just warm water. But she was very patient as I cleaned her pretty little face up. ;) The sweet little LOVE!! My little companion, what a doll!

I am going to see if I can get Adam to help me find the attachment for our phone memory cards and put some pictures on the next time I post. Take Care and LOVE YOUR CHILDREN!! :D

Yet Again~Still Waiting*

Here we are five days from the last time I posted an entry and already plans have changed. We are still waiting for a job... We took the trip to Price to find a place to live after taking the job extended to us, only to find out that there was absolutely NO WHERE to live. I thought to myself.. well no wonder it's so hard to fill the position out here!! It was the most unsuitable range of living arrangements I have ever seen in my life.

You know, you hear returned missionaries' stories of how people in foreign countries have to live, and even though it's nothing I have had to see yet in my life, if there was any comparison... the housing in Price would have to be compared to the neighborhoods you see on crime homocide cop shows. I felt so unsafe and couldn't begin to imagine putting myself, let alone my children, in such a position. So in short, we had to turn the job down.

Adam has another interview tomorrow in SLC that we are both very anxious for. It offers full benefits and if the pay is anything like what they offered for the position in Orem, then it will be better pay than the other three offers Adam has been extended. Every offer so far has gotten better but have had its disadvantages as well, so we are just hoping for the most crucial parts to work themselves out.. the pay, the location, and benefits. Other bonuses are always a plus and have been extended with some offers but not with others. We are holding our breath unfortunately for this chance, so hopefully all goes well! Wish us luck!

WELCOME HOME!

Pheeww~ well, here I am getting ready to give an update of our crazy life, yet I don't know where to even begin. Funny that us women always seem to find everything so important and that there is always a need to hurry and get things done, but the men in our lives just wait and say oh honey it will all work out, just relax. RELAX!? lol. Riight. Although, I must admit that it would certainly do me some good!

We have been in Utah for just over a week now and already a lot has happened. Within my first 4 days or so I received news from my doctor up in Idaho that there were unsatisfactory results of the baby's ultrasound. As if that doesn't worry a mother! They noticed a black density spot in the baby's stomach. So I was scheduled for another ultrasound which I went to yesterday. Now if we remember in my last post, I mentioned that also while in Idaho, they moved up my due date by 2 weeks.Well, after yesterday's doctors appt, we rest assured that was nothing wrong with the baby, that it was a mistake of the ultrasound equipment in Idaho, AND my due date is back to its original date of Oct 22-25th. ugh. So good and bad news there! :D

Beginning about 3 days ago Adam has been yo-yoing a job offer in Price Utah that offers a better sign on bonus, and matches the same great medical benefits, along with a 2 dollar higher wage than what he was offered. With that, he finally got the full swing of things lined out with the recruiters and everyone and accepted the job. He is supposed to start on Monday, but we don't have a place to live yet and don't know a thing about the housing in the area where we are moving to~ Eeek.. I only pray we will be safe and find peace and happiness there!

This pregnancy has been an exhausting one with chasing Addy around and then all the emotional stress and journies we have been through thus far. I am hoping I will be able to start relieving some of that stress and get prepared for the baby's arrival. I will update again in the next couple weeks when we can share how the new job and living arrangements are working out! Wish us luck and send us on our way eh? Later~!

**BaBy gIrL**

Well kiddos,
All of you who have waiting as anxiously as we have, we had our ultrasound today! It's another little girl! I am really going to have to think hard for a name. I had tossed all the girl names aside because this pregnancy has been total opposite of Addy. The baby is calm all the time, rarely moves, has a much slower heart rate, reacts to good food and exercise v.s. Addy went nuts over chocolate haha. I am carrying the baby all out front and none on the sides. So when they announced and showed proof that it was another girl I squealed with excitement haha. I think Addy will do better with a little sister than a little brother, but I was excited to hear it was a boy if it would have gone that way!

They moved up the due date by two weeks. They baby is showing growth of being due around October 13th or 15th instead of the 25th. I am excited to see her and hold her. I hope she looks more like me, because Adam got most the credit for Addison's beauty. hehe. How fun! I thought I would let everyone know since we have had to wait longer this time around! Ooo I just wonder what personality she will have. My guess is Adam's since she is much calmer than Addy. :D If I get the chance and ability to post pics of the ultrasound pics before she gets here, I will do that! Be watching for new pics regardless within the next 2-3 months! Until next time-

Me**

New things and getting by

Howdy*
Today is a cold more relaxing day. I find the cooler weather refreshing while some people find it depressing, haha. It's been pretty hot the last 3 or 4 days, so I was able to work on maintaining my tan. ;) Here we are on our last week of Adam's clinical!! Last week flew by with Adam gone working with my dad in Spokane. He was able to earn some well needed money to help us pay some bills and get back to Utah this weekend. Along with working in Spokane, he has been doing rework on the stairs and deck here at the house. I am proud of him and all of his hard to work to get by.

I find that I read a lot as of about a month ago. I love novels and am happy I found two other authors I really like other than just Mary Higgins Clark. :) She is fantastic, but I have also become fond of Danielle Steel and Debbie Macomber. They are hard to put down. Reading has sure helped time go by quicker also when Addy has to go down for a nap. That girl is getting taller everyday and is growing out her need for a nap, so I have to cut her naps short so she will sleep in past 5 am! Speaking of which I am behind schedule getting her up on time. haha.

We are really excited to be leaving Saturday morning. I am more so than Adam I think, but we are both just ready to keep moving forward to wrap up the test taking and starting the new career! It's going to really open up some new doors and so many to choose from. I am 27 weeks along now so with all the activity of graduation, getting to the new job, into a new place, the baby will be coming before too long too! I have my ultrasound tomorrow but I already feel very strongly that it's our little Koda. :D He is calmer than Addy was and sticks straight out instead of all around my midsection. It's getting harder to sleep and I wake up every morning with a crooked sore back and krinked neck. lol.

Funny points:
Addy watched mommy put on deodorant the other day and I found her in the bathroom putting on my deodorant... lol the only difference is that she thinks it's meant to go on the belly not the armpits. :D Big girl now~ We got it on video... Anyway, I better run, but I will write again soon!

Lost in Time

Wow it's hard to believe how much time has gone by since the last time I posted anything!! I must say if there is any year that will have or has flown by the quickest, it would be this year. With us plugging along faithfully some days and grudgingly other days for the end of Adam's schooling to come, haha, time seems lost.

Addy is growing up to be such a big girl and has really changed after being moving around so much during these past few months of Adam's schooling. She has adapted really well in some areas and really put up defenses in others. She is 18 months old now, speaks more words and phrases with each passing month, and the newest... she has taken on the liking of movies.

Before we moved out of our townhome in Pleasant Grove, I only allowed one hour at the most a day of watching the cube. And the rest of the day we were being active and playing with toys. Being put in different circumstances and surroundings sure shifts your way of living in more than one way! But regardless.. it's almost over. Her favorite movies are ICE AGE and Lady in the Tramp. She calls Lady and the Tramp the dog movie and Ice Age, she pronounces clearly. No mistaking the favorite of the two haha.

At this time, we are living in Northern Idaho at my father's house in St. Maries. Adam only has 3 weeks left which seems so far away some days, but really it's gone by so fast. We have already been here for 7 weeks. It was hard coming here, not knowing if I would ever see Utah as home again. I still don't know if it will ever be that again, but I sure miss everything we left behind. I have a few great friends there I wish I could pack up and move with me everywhere we move! It is a small world, so who knows who we will run into in the future or what we will end up doing.

When we leave here, we will once again move into Adam's parents house for the month of August to work on getting back on our financial feet. We are anxious to pay his parents back for the car they gave us. One month ought to do it! :) We are not sure still if he will keep the job he accepted here in Kellogg Idaho or if we will move back to Utah. I am not sure where I want to settle, and I want to settle wherever will be good for Addy. I want that more than anything. I want her to have good influences in her life and have family oriented surroundings. So we will continue to pray about it and do what we feel is best for us. We are still unsure what we are second baby is or where we are having it. I still don't have a doc and I am due in 17 weeks! Eek!

I don't have the ability to post any new recent pics just yet until we get back into our own place with the use of our own computer, so for now until Sept... or Oct.. I will just have to do updates. Then when the new baby comes in Oct, I will post a bunch of the baby and Addy. I have a lot of new ones I have taken of Addy up here. It's so beautiful. We love to swim in Papa's Lake (that's what Addy calls her grandpa.. hehe). It's a secluded area with very little noise and a great summer place. We hope everyone had a great 4th. Ours was interesting. I will leave it at that. :) Until next time!

*HUGS**LOVES*

How important are the people in your life, really?

Life's a funny thing how we all too often take advantage of the simple things that should be treated so carefully, sometimes even sacred.

THINK ABOUT IT:

If we knew our cars would end up only having a 1-week life span after hitting a pot hole, would we be more observant of our surroundings? Would we choose more carefully the roads we turned onto?

OR

If we knew in advance of an important event where significant individuals holding higher authority were going to be present, would we pay more attention to our clothing, our speech, and even maybe our thoughts? ----- I think so.

So, with that, I am woman enough to realize and admit while taking fault also.... that it's the people who care the least about us personally, that hold the opinion that we care most about.
Most of us, most of our lives right now, can't get more blessed when it comes to the people in it. Whether that's our children, our significant others, or extended family, would you change those people/person for someone else... or is it more of changing how you are treated?

We've all heard the phrase, "Have my cake and eat it". By now, we know it's not a realistic action! Because my heart aches, my simple hope is this: may we all remember each day what it is that makes us rise up and face the toughest moments and why we have good times too. Make an effort to change YOU in a way, so those people will know who they are and that they impact you in such a way. XOXO**

Halfway!

Well, Addy has learned some new words and phrases and along with that, this past week I have worked so hard to finish those last 6 chapters I last spoke about! And guess what!? I am taking my final this next week. I will let all of ya how I did, but after this final this week, I will be half way done with the program. At that point, I will be able to say how long it will take me to completely finish! There is a small chance I might really finish in May like we hoped I would!

So for now, just a short post, Addison's new phrases and words consist of: "Don't touch", "Move on"-as in get a move on haha.. , her uncles name "Devin", "Belly button", "Night night", "Addison". "ball", "Dance", "Down", "more" that is including the sign language of it! :D, "please", "bear", and "fish". She always says, "eyes", "mouth", "beep", and knows where the eyes, mouth, nose and ears are haha. She makes almost all the animal sounds and pretty much repeats anything she hears you say. She gets bigger and smarter everyday! I was just looking at a video yesterday of her first steps in December! Wow how she has grown into quite the little lady. ;)

This one is called,"So close yet so far away"

The days seem to pass so slowly, but we have already been living here at Adam's parents' house for just about three weeks! We fought for a raise where Adam currenly works, because he absolutely loves working at that clinc and working with who he does. After 2 and 1/2 weeks of looking into other clinics and considering other offers, the clinic finally realized they were going to lose him. They took him on a rollercoaster of please don't go to well that's too bad you are going to have to leave us...to AGAIN Please Dont Go We Need You. So after this, he got a two dollar and fifty cents raise. That should hopefully make up the money it takes to commute. We count our every blessing and some ays it seems we are closer to the end than we really are. In time of hardship and lack of patience, one of the most precious blessings is to realize that time isn't stopping.

It's a funny thing, how sometimes we look back and wish we could go back or sometimes we are experiencing something we wish could last forever. But then there are times like right now in our life where it seems hard to just put one foot in front of the other and bear down with patience because there's nothing else you CAN do. :)

It has been just beautiful here the past two days and I have taken the opportunity to take Addy on walks. Just the fresh air can rejuvinate enough to get through the day. Addy gets so excited over the animals we see. In this small town of Nephi, within a block of the house, are buffalo, yes really, about 6 BUFFALO, 8 horses, and dogs. She loves barking at the dogs haha.. and spitting at the horse with her lips. She even barks at the cats. He he. She has a mark of seriousness she uses. She squats low to the ground, widens her eyes and tells you in her language that she is very serious right then! Life- what a glorious thing! I scored another good grade on my next quiz. 6 more chapters and I will be half way done! YEAH.... I'll be keeping you posted! May the sun shine on us all today! :D

Check out my Slide Show!

WOW Long time!

Well kiddos, it's been far too long since I have done an entry on here. I forgot my password and things got so incredibly crazy around here with my life. But I have been revived haha, and I have returned to do this tonight. I am so grateful for life, for friends, and for the moments that cause us to slow down. Life is such a beautiful thing, and it's so easily overlooked!! What blessings we have if we take a look around and notice those people who make our world keep turning. We have had to give up our townhome here in Pleasant Grove and are moving to Adam's parents' house for a few months to save money for Adam's clinical. It's really hard making all the necessary adjustments. I won't go into them because it will sound so negative, but just imagine my shoes as I am an exercise fanatic and there isn't a gym there, and a women and mother that is one awesome homemaker living under some other woman's/mother's roof! Anyway, bankruptcy will take it's toll and will soon someday be just a thing of the past. We live, we learn, and pick up and move on. Addison is now 14 months and is running everywhere. She has such a hilarious personality. Today she started a new hobby.. Called Hiding Under Blanket Smashing. She places the blanket over her face, squeezes the sides of her head and takes off running. She smashed into the dishwasher and living room table today... landing flat on her back.. so funny to watch it happen so fast, but so sad to see it crush her enjoyment. lol. Rumor says she looks a little more like me.. and rumor also has it.. except it's not so much a rumor.. we are expecting her first sibling.. Number two is 6 weeks old in the womb. :) I hope you are all doing well..

Hugs*